Studies show that as teens evolve, their desire to think, feel, make decisions, and act on their own is one of their most important values and is actually one of the strongest drivers of behavior change in this population. This research can be explained by the not-so simple process of growing up: to some degree teens are no longer a “child” but at the same time they may start to acquire some “adult” freedoms as they continue to mature; often this can create immense challenge for all involved: teens are looking to feel heard and acknowledged by their social circles, where adults are looking to impart helpful and healthful guidance. From the many parents I have worked with over the years trying to get their teens to engage in healthier habits, I can empathize that this can feel like a lose, lose battle. You’re not alone and I’m here to help!
Given this evolutionary dynamic, it’s not uncommon for teens to be particularly sensitive to feedback. Research tells us that the feedback especially hits hard from people that they view to be important in their lives like parents, friends, or coaches. Interestingly, multiple studies demonstrate that perceived threats to their independence greatly affects their comprehension of criticism, internalization of behavior, and their ability to adopt better habits. In sum: adolescents don’t want to be told “what they should eat” or “how they should exercise.” They don’t resonate with that approach nor has it shown to be effective in eliciting positive lifestyle behaviors. Teens want to be shown that their choice, interests and input matters and that others will respect, as well as cheer on their autonomy–especially from the people that they value the most. So how does an important person in their life best support their autonomy while encouraging positive health behavior? As a Functional Nutrition Coach, and as someone who has dedicated their undergraduate to degree studying health behavior and communication, I’ve listed 3 of my top tips below to do just that!
TIPS
Examples:
“That’s a good idea!”
“I see you’ve been drinking your water everyday and getting some extra antioxidants in from the fruit you picked out. With the cold and flu season around you’ve been doing a great job! All of that definitely helps!”
“I noticed that you chose to go out to play basketball with your friends instead of playing video games. Nice. That must feel good to get some movement in and enjoy good company.”
Examples:
Let’s say your teen loves gymnastics. Frequently talk to them about how the sport is going and get an idea of what they are looking to accomplish. If they are interested in improving their performance as a lot of people are, share and explain how one of the foods they picked out could help with that or maybe there’s other foods that would be good to consider that would help with their performance. Perhaps they don’t feel like doing the warm up at gymnastic practices but like when it’s time for balance beam: talk about how doing the warm up will help them better do the things they like to do! This can also apply to other things like school, theater, chess, or even video games; it’s all about how you frame it!
Examples: Reiterating personal stories on how their peers think what they are doing is “cool”, Expressing appreciation for something healthy they shared with you/or activity you did together, Recalling a time when a coach/mentor praised them for their performance or decision making
